


The Joys and Pains of Womanhood

by Renai_chan



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Crossdressing, Feminization, Gender or Sex Swap, Girl!Eggsy, He gets turned back in the end don't worry, Lingerie, M/M, Menstrual Sex, Office Sex, PMS, Shower Sex, This is a really smutty story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-11
Updated: 2016-05-07
Packaged: 2018-05-01 02:39:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5189012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Renai_chan/pseuds/Renai_chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eggsy is turned into a woman, and he and Harry take it upon themselves to discover the joys of his body before he gets turned back, unintentionally encountering the pains of it along the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah. Don't expect huge amounts of plot. This is mostly just sort-of-het!smut. 
> 
> Second chapter is halfway done, so hopefully it'll be up by next week, just need to cram in the last few bits of smut and the epilogue.

The muted static over the comms was grating to the ears, made more so by the fact that it cut short Eggsy’s sudden and pained shout.

For half a second there was silence and stillness in the tech department before Merlin suddenly yelled orders at all available tech staff and handlers to find him an in with the unbreachable security. Without Eggsy’s glasses feed, they were virtually blind. And with an agent potentially down at that.

Arthur came screeching into the department half a minute later.

“We’re working on getting visual,” Merlin informed him without being asked. His hands were a blur over the keyboard, and he didn’t dare look away while he and three of his best people worked through the lines of code rapidly scrolling down the monitors. They hadn’t had any luck in the past few weeks, but he wouldn’t let that stop him from trying again if there was even a remote chance of getting to Eggsy.

“Pull Geraint out of Belgium,” Harry ordered. Merlin gave not a word of confirmation, but he knew his people well enough to know that Geraint’s handler would be working on it the second Harry uttered the command. His attention narrowed to a single point of focus: desperately finding a hole in the security system. 

It was air-tight and Merlin proof--a feat he previously had not thought possible--delaying the mission for weeks until they could solve the problem. After all, without access to the in-house security system, a handler was blind and an agent on his own, but the problem was growing at a rate not conducive to further delays. The company was making breakthroughs with their human experimentation activities, and Kingsman needed to strike _now_. So they sent Eggsy in with Merlin as his handler, blinded to all activities but those caught by Eggsy’s glasses and some strategically placed Kingsman cameras--cameras that weren’t enough right now to give them the information they needed.

“How long?” Harry asked, but Merlin didn’t have an answer for him, so he said nothing.

For half an hour, Merlin typed and read relentlessly. Unending lines of code scrolled across his vision, meeting one dead end after another and doubling back again. There was tension in the air and in the line of his back, only bolstered by Arthur’s presence. Sweat beaded his forehead as each ticking second professed further uncertainty.

And then with the same suddenness of the static’s appearance, Eggsy’s glasses feed flickered back online.

The tech department was up in arms, screaming at each other for extraction teams and medical units. Merlin was on his feet, hissing into the microphone and locking into Eggsy’s GPS coordinates.

“Galahad!” he called out, mindful of Eggsy’s touch-and-go predicament. “Status!”

“Fuck,” was Eggsy’s first word, clear and coherent, a little alarmed and a little groggy, and Merlin heard a sharp sigh of relief from Harry. “Fuck, Merlin. Bruv, I’m so glad t’ hear from you.” His voice was tinny and strange. Probably the side-effect of the interruption to the feed. In any case, it wasn’t Merlin’s top priority right now.

“Status,” Merlin repeated, calmer now that Eggsy was alive and didn’t seem in any immediate danger.

“I… Shit, I’m not sure. I feel fine, but.” He stopped abruptly. Merlin waited a second more for any follow up, but heard none.

“Eggsy?” he tried again. For another few seconds, there was silence on Eggsy’s end and after that, a short sound of hysterical laughter. To prompt a response, Merlin offered. “We have an extraction team en route. Geraint’s ETA is in fifty three minutes. Can you hold on until then?”

Eggsy’s laugh, unamused as it was though no longer hysterical, was still a welcomed sound. “Got no choice about that, yeah? No, I’m fine, actually, almost as right when I left HQ. They got me stashed in a closet with a massive shiner and shit, but I can finish the mission.”

“Give me a rundown of your plan,” Merlin ordered.

“By the humidity and the feel ov the walls, ’m pre’y confident they pu’ me down in the basement. Most me weapons are gone, but I’ve still go’ the garrote wire in me suit, and luckily, they lef’ me me glasses. I may be able ter pick the door or kick it down--either or--and then take out a few guards, nab their guns and find me way ter the East Wing. I’ll take out Wells as soon as I can and the rest ov ‘is minions after, but I may need ter bring ‘ome their top scientist wiv me. ‘Ave Geraint prep fer that.”

Merlin frowned in thought. “We don’t need to take in anyone, Eggsy. You’re only tasked with taking out Wells.”

“Yeah, well. I’m kinda needin’ his help on this.” Without further ado, Eggsy took his glasses off and turned the camera into his face.

Into his very female face.

“Well, fuck me,” Merlin breathed into the hushed air.

……………

“Caught me by surprise, blasted me back,” Eggsy explained five hours later while medical checked him over, moving and prodding him as necessary. God, his voice still sounded so weird.

He supposed he should be more concerned with his nudity beyond the briefs he was still wearing considering both Merlin and Harry stood before him and his new (but temporary!) female body, but he was beaten up, tired, confused, and not a little bit worried about the outlook of his near and far future, and to be frank, he didn’t quite feel that this was his body, so he didn’t care.

“For ten whole minutes, it felt like I was being stabbed all over. Didn’ even notice ‘em draggin’ me downstairs. I honestly though’ I was dyin’,” Eggsy said. Then he paused, caught in the memory. “I kinda wanted ter at that point, it was so painful.” Harry jerked minutely, but Eggsy still caught it and shot him a placating smile. “I musta passed out ‘coz I woke up later in the basement with brand new tits and a cunt.”

Merlin made a face. “Charming,” he said. Eggsy beamed.

“So any idea ‘ow an’ when I’m gunna get me body back?” And weren’t those the strangest words to ever come out of mouth. He would have laughed and made a cheeky remark right there, but Merlin exchanged a _look_ with Harry, and the situation suddenly seemed a whole lot less amusing.

“We can’t say just yet, Eggsy,” Harry said, gravelly but placatingly. “We’re still negotiating with Dr. Ivanovitch to reverse the effects of the ray which really shouldn’t take too long, but there’s still the matter of developing the reversal.”

“So, wot? We lookin’ at a few days? Weeks?”

“Ivanovitch says it would take him a month. At least,” Merlin answered for him. “He says the reversal was still in development when Wells demanded the ray be put into production, and that it would take him at least a month to finish his research and build a functioning reversal ray.” 

Eggsy took a moment to think about that while the doctor declared him physically fine save for the scrapes and bruises that were an inevitable result of any mission. And his new tits, that was, but it was as good a clean bill of health as any and meant he didn’t have to stay in Medical any longer--always a win in his book.

Tits, though. 

He glanced at them evaluatively in the mirror off to the side of the bed. “Am I gunna able ter go on missions?” Because that was the next important question after whether or not it would be reversible. 

He stood up and headed to the mirror, twisting to one side to check out his profile. The breasts weren’t huge by any standard of the imagination--he’d certainly seen and touched bigger--but they were enough to emphasize the feminine quality of his body while being small enough that they wouldn’t impact his movement. He hefted them up with his hands and let them drop, trying out the weight and feel of them should he run.

“You’d need to undergo testing to see how well you work like this, but assuming you pass all tests satisfactorily, there shouldn’t be any reason why you can’t.” Eggsy glanced at Merlin through the mirror, intending to express an appreciation for the good news, but found the Scot looking rather intently down at the clipboard. Eggsy smirked.

“Aces! You’re the guv, Merlin,” he said emphatically. “I could probably get started on trainin’ today. Although, I suppose I should wait for Roxy ter sort out gettin’ a bra, whatchoo think?”

Merlin’s cough was overshadowed by Harry’s observation. “You’re taking remarkably well to this whole debacle.” Eggsy glanced at him curiously. His tone was calm and unaffected and his posture equally so, but when Eggsy found his eyes, he also found in them a promising darkness.

He sent Harry his best smile. “If Roxy and Gazelle ‘ad taught me anything, it’s that women can be just as deadly as any man, so I have only the ‘ighest respect for the female form--turnin’ into one is ‘ardly a step down.” 

“True,” Harry agreed. “But surprisingly mature of you.”

Eggsy stuck his tongue out at him before his smile turned flirty at the edges and he gave Harry a small wink. “‘Sides can’t say I ‘aven’t been curious.”

“ _Please_ do me the decency of waiting until you get home before trying out Eggsy’s new body,” Merlin interjected imploringly with an implied groan and an affected air of someone who has been unwillingly subjected to unpleasantness far too many times. “I have enough footage of you two getting about in HQ to last several lifetimes.”

Eggsy grinned sweetly at him. “Been savin’ ‘em for a special night in, ‘ave you, Merl?” He batted his eyelashes outrageously and earned himself an uttered groan.

“I’ll sell them to porn sites for your cheek,” Merlin threatened before sending Harry a reproachful look. “Do try to keep your dalliances private, Arthur. I would hope to be able to count on your discretion since we both know there’s no hope in hell for your boy.”

Harry only hummed, and in a thoughtful tone, said, “‘My girl’ now, I’d suppose. And I’d expect an equal three-way split for all porn site proceeds, of course.” Merlin rolled his eyes.

“Oi!” Eggsy cut in before a response could be had. “”S much as I respect women ov all shapes an’ sizes, I’m still a guy under all this and am goin’ back ter bein’ one at the first available opportunity. I won’t be takin’ ter pronoun changes, understood?” Harry lifted a brow, but smiled anyway, dark and molten.

“Doesn’t mean we can’t take advantage of it while we can, darling,” he said as he sauntered over, slowly backing Eggsy up against the sink until his briefed ass was sliding over the rim. The door clicked shut, but neither paid it any mind. A hand drifted up to cup Eggsy’s cheek, and Harry’s thumb dragged beneath Eggsy’s eye. “While I can still call you my girl.” And like all the other times Harry affected that sinful voice, Eggsy’s eyes fluttered shut and his lips parted in anticipation of a kiss. Sometimes, Harry granted it easily; sometimes, he’d make Eggsy wait. This time, he traced his thumb over his lips and pressed a thumb in, which Eggsy closed his mouth over almost immediately.

“Lovely,” Harry murmured, pushing between Eggsy’s thighs almost absently. The digit in his mouth provided him focus and purpose. He pleasured it like it was Harry’s cock in his mouth, teasing and nibbling and sucking. So involved in it that he barely felt Harry’s other hand slipping beneath his briefs and sliding between the lips of his cunt.

“Oh!” Eggsy gasped, releasing Harry’s thumb and jerking his hips forward when one finger slid over his clit. “Oh…” he repeated more sensuously when Harry glided back over it. Heat and electricity combined radiated from that point and spread throughout his body, culminating at the tips of his toes. “Oh, fuckkk…” he moaned, tipping his head back against the mirror and when Harry dipped his head to kiss at his throat, his finger moved further south and into him.

It didn’t last, to Eggsy’s complete disappointment, but his protest died in his throat when Harry’s finger came back shiny and wet, and all remaining coherence fled when Harry sucked his finger into his mouth.

“ _Very_ lovely,” the older man murmured teasingly. Eggsy’s mouth opened and closed several times before Harry chuckled and pressed a quick kiss to his mouth. “Come. We’ll take the rest of the afternoon off. I’m sure Merlin can hold the fort down while we asses your new...” He eyed Eggsy up and down. “Figure.”

Eggsy managed a grin. “So I take it you’re digging the look?” He made sure to sway his hips as he walked over to the desk to put his clothes, the now ill-fitting Kingsman suit, back on. A quick glance showed Harry looking at him with covetousness clear on display.

“I’ll take you in any way shape or form,” was his lover’s answer. “But I’ll admit that this opens up a whole new world of opportunities for us.” Eggsy grinned.

“Opportunities, huh?”

“My dear Eggsy,” Harry drawled as he neared and caught Eggsy around the waist. “Tonight, I will make you see stars.”

…………....

A sight they must have made, hurriedly stalking through the halls of the estate and, later, the shop. Every motion, every action professing unmistakable intent.

For a moment, Eggsy remembered Merlin's words. Arthur, Harry, was the epitome of a gentleman: calm, collected, and professional. And here Eggsy was taking all that away--in front of the people they worked with, no less. Then Harry looked back to him, flashing him a naughty smirk that made Eggsy fall in love with him all over again. He thought to himself, "Fuck it. Harry's a grown man. He can make his own bleedin' decisions."

They encountered one or two bewildered stares from colleagues before they reached the tube to the shop, but before Eggsy could voice concern about it--that is, whether or not they'd have some explaining to do with Harry hauling around an unfamiliar woman for very clear reasons when everyone and their mothers knew that Harry and Eggsy were together--Harry had him pinned up against the inside of the doors and ravaged his mouth, all finesse and care thrown out of the window, and Eggsy could only hold on to Harry's shoulders and moan.

The lips of his cunt throbbed almost painfully, and the moisture there nearly dripped out, he was so wet. He moved to squeeze his legs shut just in case, but Harry grabbed the back of his thighs and hefted Eggsy up into his arms.

"Gettin' me juices on--" he started before Harry cut him off with a savage kiss, pushing him further into the doors. Eggsy was only glad the tube ride was smooth that they didn’t fall over as they kissed. For a brief moment, he worried about the end of the ride where momentum was sure to take care of that, but Harry, it seemed, was well aware and released him moments before then.

With a last kiss, Harry ushered him out of the tube and into the shop where Dagonet eyed him suspiciously. Eggsy gave him a cheeky wave, but Harry deigned to let him stop for a chat. “We’ll be back tomorrow for a fitting,” Harry told the tailor shortly instead.

The cab ride was intense, short thought it was. Eggsy was only glad that Kingsman staff had such discretion because neither he nor Harry could keep their hands to themselves. The eleven-minute ride was filled with moans and the slick sounds of wet kisses, and when they arrived at the Mews, they could only manage one word of thanks.

The door to Harry’s home was opened and shut with a speed borne of lust and desperation, and afterwards, Eggsy felt himself once more pressed up against a door, his legs wrapped around Harry’s waist, and his arms pinned above his head, only this time, his trousers and pants had been pushed off prior. 

As he was kissed to Heaven and back, Eggsy rocked himself onto Harry's unfortunately clothed cock, getting the front of his pants wet in his desperate need for friction. Utterly frustrating was what it was because he didn't fucking _know how this worked_! With a cock, it was easy, rub up against object of affection and, _boom_ , orgasm. This, though, he rubbed and rubbed and rubbed and found himself only even more frustrated.

"Harry," he whined, but the older man shushed him.

"I'll take care of you," Harry promised before letting him down so that he could guide them up to the bedroom. 

Eggsy unclothed the rest of his suit quickly and sprawled out on the bed, while Harry stood back to openly admire him, spread legs and all. "You are quite gorgeous like this, my darling," he said with a soft smile.

"A better gorgeous?" Eggsy asked hesitantly. Harry gave him a reassuring smile.

"Just a different gorgeous. I want you whatever gender, shape or form you take," was his answer.

Eggsy grinned widely. "So let's say I get turned into a cat..."

Harry lifted an eyebrow. "Cheeky," he remarked, but otherwise gave no answer. Instead, he started removing his own clothes.

Eggsy had watching Harry strip an innumerable amount of times before, but each and every one of those affected him just the same: anticipation, lust, heat. Inch by inch of skin, scar after scar was revealed to him and he mentally mapped out the path his mouth would take to get to each of them.

Harry's smile was knowing, so when he finally ridded himself of his socks and shoes and climbed on the bed over Eggsy, he stroked his cheek and said, "Let me. This is about you tonight. I'm going to show you how to enjoy this body while it lasts."

And Eggsy had no doubt he would. Harry was an experienced and giving lover--to women just as much as he was to men, to Eggsy. Eggsy was in for a ride, he was.

Harry's mouth found his in a light kiss, nipping at his lips and exploring the insides of his mouth like it was new, though Eggsy supposed it was. His mouth on Eggsy’s was divine as it was familiar, but it was his hands that Eggsy found himself hung up on. 

The older man kneeled over him, creating space for him to explore and caress the dips and curves of his new body. Fingers glided over his jaw, inadvertently tipping Eggsy's face up. They moved down the length of his neck, the thumb sliding down the front to note the lack of an Adam's apple. At Eggsy’s collarbones, his mouth started to follow the path created by his fingers, first nipping at his jaw then kissing its way down his neck. When a kiss was pressed to where his Adam's apple used to be, Harry dragged his fingers over the mountain of his breasts and cupped them tightly.

At Eggsy's moan, Harry pulled back to smile at him. "Lovely creature," he murmured, a sweet, tender thing if not for the thumbs playing with the very tips of his nipples. Eggsy moaned louder, pushing his chest up into Harry's touch and unconsciously spreading his legs wider. He could feel the wetness of his cunt sliding out and between his arse cheeks. The thought made him flush madly.

And then Harry's mouth was on one nipple, just the very tip, flicking it lightly with his tongue in tiny kitten licks. Eggsy cried out. His fingers sunk into Harry's hair for grounding, holding on as the teasing licks sent his mind spiralling. His other nipple, meanwhile, was suddenly pinched quite hard, making him shout a pleasured invective. The motion was repeated, once, twice, thrice more, and Eggsy found himself begging, "Harry, please. Please. I can't--I need. Harry, Harry!" He thrust his chest up into Harry's mouth, needing more of it, needing _more_. Harry, however, only switched sides, teasing the other nipple with his mouth and pinching the first with his hand. "Jesus, Harry!" Eggsy sobbed. His cunt was sopping and throbbing and _empty_ , and he needed to change that. "Please! Please, Harry!"

"Impatient," was the teasing rebuke, but he was already sliding down Eggsy's stomach, leaving his breasts painfully unstimulated. To compensate, Eggsy released Harry's hair and squeezed them once. The smile on Harry's mouth was amused and heated all at once. "Why don't you leave your hands there?" he suggested before he pressed a kiss to the hollow of Eggsy's navel and dipped his tongue into it.

"Fucking Christ," Eggsy whined. His hips rocked up to rub against Harry, an automatic habit, but found no relief as the older man still hovered a distance away.

"Such blasphemies," Harry chuckled.

"Shut up," Eggsy volleyed back. "Fucking, come on, Harry. You're such a fucking tease, you arsehole."

"Maybe I shouldn't," Harry hummed into his belly. "Might teach you to mind your filthy mouth."

"Fuck you," Eggsy whined, pushing his hips into Harry's chest. "Harry, _please_." He slung a thigh over Harry's shoulder to push him lower. He wasn't quite sure what to expect when Harry went down on him, to be honest, but he knew he needed Harry's mouth down there, and he knew it was going to be goddamned _spectacular_.

"Well, since you ask so politely," was the laughingly sarcastic response to the manhandling.

"Shut up," would have been Eggsy's response, but then Harry's tongue was licking his clit and _burning him_ from the inside out all the way to his toes.

It was a strange sensation, hot in an almost literal sense and somewhat ticklish, and Eggsy had to squeeze his breasts tight to keep from tugging Harry away. He cried out against the sensations as he bore it, letting Harry push him and push him and push him. The thought that Harry was _eating his pussy out_ only bolstered his arousal, and suddenly the heat and ticklish sensation disappeared and were replaced with a sudden a tidal wave of _pleasure_.

Eggsy screamed.

His body convulsed in Harry's grip, the sensation of the orgasm disconcerting without ejaculate. Eggsy wasn't quite sure if that was it, to be honest, but the debilitating pleasure was a pretty good giveaway.

It was over in a few seconds, and overstimulation from Harry's tongue turned into that same ticklish sensation once more. His legs twitched and his hips writhed from the ministrations. He slid his fingers into Harry's hair to pull him off, but the other man only grabbed his wrists and held them down tight against the bed.

An inexplicable panic settled into Eggsy as he fought against the urge to throw Harry off of him. His clit bore a mixture of sensations, not terrible, but not exactly pleasurable either. "Harry," he tried, but Harry didn't stop, still kept those steady little flicks of tongue over his clit, teasing and teasing and teasing despite the uncomfortable pleasure. And then one wrist was released and a finger pushed into his hole and then Eggsy was screaming another orgasm into Harry's mouth.

And still Harry didn't stop.

His third orgasm came quickly, bringing tears into his eyes as he cried out.

"Fuckfuckfuck, Harry. _Harry_!" he sobbed when Harry kept at it, licking and sucking and fingering him at a steady, consistent pace. "Harry, _please_. Please."

His fourth orgasm came quickly after that, and the tears that had been hovering in the corners of his eyes fell into the pillow at Eggsy’s head. Four in a fucking row, and Harry was determined to push him into a fifth.

His pussy was on fire and gushing at the same time. It throbbed like his heart had decided to take residence there, and it felt _so fucking empty_ even with Harry’s finger resting in there.

He begged. "Please, Harry. Please. Want you, please. Fuck me, fuck me."

The tongue continued to stroke at his hypersensitive clit, his legs twitched, and his hips writhed, and then he was sobbing out his fifth orgasm.

And then and then and only then Harry was finally fucking sinking into the wetness of his hole, and Eggsy _howled_.

His length was hard and hot and so impossibly perfect that Eggsy babbled pleasured invectives between his sobs.

"Fucking beautiful," Harry grunted above him, manhandling his thighs up between their chests and over his shoulders, none of his frenzied thrusts wavering. The new angle stabbed something inside of Eggsy, and he screamed.

"There!"

"Yes. God, yes," Harry answered, stabbing him over and over and over until he half felt like he needed to piss but mostly that he couldn't fucking _think_.

"There, there, God, Harry. _Harder_. Please. More...!" Harry kissed him, wet and messy and desperate, obliging beautifully.

"Gorgeous," he grunted while Eggsy sobbed beneath him. "My gorgeous girl. Gonna make you cry for me all the time."

"God, Harry!" Eggsy cried.

Harry grunted out an incoherent response as his hips stuttered. Then Eggsy _felt it_ , that split second before Harry came when his cock felt bigger and lighted up all the nerve endings in his pussy. It was _divine_ , and Eggsy only regretted that it lasted just half a second long.

Harry collapsed on top of him after that, their mouths finding each other, easy and lazy even with Eggsy still folded in half. He didn't mind. His flexibility was aces.

"Mmm," he murmured when Harry eventually rolled off of him and onto his side.

"How was it?" Harry asked, pressing kisses to his shoulder and tracing circles on his hip with a thumb.

"Fuckin' spectacular," was Eggsy's dreamy answer. "Goddamn but five orgasms in a row. If I could do that with a dick, you and I will never leave this room. Women have all the fuckin' luck."

Harry chuckled and leaned over him, pressing more tiny kisses to his mouth. "One of these days, we're going to take a day off, you and I. I'm going to lay you out and see exactly how many times I can make you come in a row." Harry's eyes gleamed. "You're going to _cry_ for me, darling." The thought was expectedly arousing, and even with come seeping out of his hole, Eggsy felt up for another round. Harry wouldn't mind eating him out right now, Eggsy was sure, if he asked.

But a thought suddenly popped up in his mind before he could think about that further. "D'ya reckon we should've used a johnnie?" he asked. Harry's eyebrows drew together in confusion before they lifted in surprise and a small degree of worry.

"Shit," he said and grabbed his glasses off the night stand. "Merlin," he said after a quick moment. "Have you had a chance to look further into Dr. Ivanovitch's studies?" He was quiet for a bit, then followed his question up with "Might there be something in it discussing the... uh, the viability of the reproductive area?" His voice was moderately strangled in such a way that declared his embarrassment.

Eggsy quickly scrambled for his own glasses that were thrown haphazardly on the floor. He put it on and requested permission to join the conversation that was granted just as Merlin was saying, "--possibility for conception." There was laughter in his voice that Eggsy did _not_ appreciate.

"Wait, wot?" he asked, but both men ignored his question for now.

Harry sighed. "We'll pop over to the chemist then. Thank you, Merlin."

"Make good choices, kids. Practise safe sex!" Merlin managed to put in before they both discarded their glasses.

"Wot did Merlin say?" Eggsy asked apprehensively. He chewed on his lip because he _knew_ what Merlin said. Harry sighed once more.

"He said there's as much a chance of pregnancy as with any other woman," he answered. "And that we should obtain ourselves a Plan B if we do not intend to become parents within the next year."

"Seriously?!" was Eggsy's half hysterical, half curious exclamation.

"Afraid so, darling." Harry leaned over to kiss him, and when he pulled back, he was smiling a strange little smile. "Though that isn't to say I wouldn't want to consider having children with you in the fu--" Eggsy slapped a hand over his mouth before anything further could be said.

"Harry, I love you. But if you start a fuckin' proposal with thoughts about kids, I _will_ punch you." Harry's lips curved into a smile that Eggsy felt against his palm. His hand was pulled away and Harry kissed him.

"Duly noted. Any other tips I should know about for my proposal, then?" he asked teasingly.

"Yeah," Eggsy grinned, challenging. "It better be fuckin' magical, you get me?" Harry's laugh was bright and delighted.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So when I said I'll post this 'next week,' I actually meant 6 months later. Yeah. I'm a lazy and (for the past few weeks at least) uninspired fuck.
> 
> Warning: lots and lots of menstrual stereotyping. I put in a bunch of stereotypical concepts of menstruation mostly to make fun of it and also because it's funny. But I'm well aware not all women experience the same shit (case in point: me).

Eggsy glared at himself in the mirror.

There was something wrong with the way he looked, and he couldn't quite put his finger on it. He turned to the side, glared some more, turned to the other side and glared even more. He smoothed a hand over his front and tugged at his jacket, but for some godforsaken reason, it refused to cooperate.

It had been fine yesterday, he had looked fine, and the suits Dagonet made were gorgeous and perfectly tailored, as per usual. Today, though.

 _Today_.

"Eggsy?" Harry called, his image of stepping into the bedroom visible from the mirror. "We're going to be late." Eggsy frowned some more at his reflection and fidgeted some more in his suit.

"There's something wrong with my suit," he told Harry, barely resisting the urge to take it off and stomp on it. It was fine; he was fine. He was overthinking this.

Harry grinned, sliding his arms around Eggsy's shoulders. "Have you considered, darling, that maybe the suit has nothing to do with it?" he teased with a kiss to Eggsy's temple.

Laughter rang in Harry's tone, but anger suddenly filled Eggsy's, and he snapped in response, "D’ya _have_ ter be such a soddin’ arse?!" He pushed Harry's arms off of him and stomped out of the room, all thoughts of the suit forgotten.

He continued stomping all the way downstairs and to the door before Harry finally caught him, grabbing his arm and whirling him around. His face was filled with apologetic confusion.

"I'm sorry, Eggsy," he said, and though it was sincere, it still announced all of Harry's confusion, and Eggsy _hated_ that. Apologizing for the sake of apologizing. If you apologized, it was because you promise not to do it again; if you didn't know what you were apologizing for, what was the point?

"Do you even know what for?" he asked acidly. Harry looked stumped.

"I, well, shouldn't have teased you, I suppose. I'm sorry, darling," he kissed Eggsy's forehead, but the younger man wasn’t to be placated. Eggsy said nothing and held stiff in his arms.

The back of his mind told him he was overreacting, screaming at him really. But the simmering heat of his blood held that voice at bay so that when Harry finally released Eggsy from his embrace, he stalked out the door and into the waiting cab.

Angry and confused silence filled the car from the Mews to the shop, and even Ector glanced once or twice in the rearview mirror. Eggsy resisted the urge to reassure him. It wasn't often he was notably cold, but right now, the thought of attempting to be nice made his skin crawl.

Harry and Eggsy alighted at the shop front and found their way to the tube, still silent. Dagonet greeted them as they passed, and while Harry greeted him in return, Eggsy said nothing. 

Vaguely, he felt a little guilty. He always made a point of being nice to Dagonet, especially now that he had gone out of his way to whip up a new set of suits for his temporary form in record time, but his annoyance at Harry, at his suit, at everything in general overrode the guilt.

He plopped himself down inelegantly in the tube's armchair and stared at the wall while Harry seated himself opposite him. Immediately, the tube whisked them away to headquarters.

"I shouldn't have said that. It was insensitive and mean, and I truly am sorry, Eggsy," he said in a most sincere voice after a silent moment. His hand found Eggsy's knee as he made his way to his own knees before him. He took both of Eggsy's hands and pressed featherlight kisses to his fingertips. "Tell me what's bothering you, darling. I want to help, please." The kisses continued while Eggsy remained silent.

The thing was. The thing was, _nothing_ was bothering him, and _everything_ was. Even now, when the sight of Harry on his knees should have inspired visions of sex, Eggsy only wanted to push him back into his seat. It was stupid, Eggsy knew, and it was frustrating.

"I'm fine," he answered, as if that had any chance in hell of reassuring Harry.

"Eggsy, darling, please," Harry pleaded, all genuine care and worry on his face. "Did something happen?"

"I said I'm fine, Harry. Leave it," Eggsy growled in annoyance. Mostly at himself. He shut his eyes and leaned his head back against the chair. More kisses and a squeeze of his hands.

"Eggsy--"

"I said I'm fine!" he suddenly yelled, snapping his hands away. Harry pulled back, startled. Eggsy felt guilty and mad all at once, but he said nothing and looked away as Harry once more made his way back into his seat.

For the rest of the trip, he looked at Eggsy like that, like Eggsy was a different person, a skittish animal. And it grated on him even more.

When the doors of the tube opened to let them out, Eggsy bolted away from Harry as quickly as his legs would take him and holed himself up in his office, resisting the urge to lock it.

He pulled out his latest stack of reports and paperwork and aggressively worked on them for the better part of an hour. For the better part of an hour, he was productive and useful and efficient. For the better part of an hour, he was left in silence.

And then someone knocked.

 _Go away, go away, go away_ , he thought. His body was held perfectly still, anticipating a second set of knocks and suppressing the urge to snap vindictives.

He was still overreacting, and he knew it, but he didn't understand why and didn't understand how to stop it.

The second set of knocks never came. Instead, the door opened and Roxy strolled in, a tray of various things in her hands which set atop Eggsy's paperwork. The irritation Eggsy felt at the disregard for his work and privacy thankfully kept him from saying anything biting, but Roxy's amused smile prompted a flat "What?"

"Come here," she said sweetly, rounding his desk, and before Eggsy could stop her, she gathered him into his arms and hugged him tight.

Inexplicably and infuriatingly, his eyes grew hot with tears. He tried to hold them off as best as he could, but then Roxy started rubbing his back and murmuring "shh" and "it's okay" in varying combinations, and then he couldn't hold them back anymore.

"This is fuckin’ bollocks, Rox!" Eggsy bit out through sobs he desperately tried to hold back. "What the actual fuckin’ _fuck_ is happening? What's _wrong_ wiv me?"

"Shhh, nothing's wrong with you, Eggsy," she murmured, rocking him back and forth. "There's absolutely nothing wrong with you, I promise. It's just hormones, Eggs. They're all over the place right now, but you'll be fine. You'll be fine soon. Hey, come here, I brought some ice cream and chocolate. It'll help, come here." she dragged him to the floor and ushered him to sit back against the wall before she thrust a pint of wine-flavored ice cream into his hands.

He didn't question it because this was Roxy and Roxy knew best. He pried the top off and dug in with the spoon she gave him. Hiccups stuttered his breaths, but he pushed through, heaving spoon after spoon into his mouth until he scraped the bottom.

Roxy gave him a proud look. "See?" she asked. "Don't you feel better?" He nodded and also felt a little drunk off of the ice cream, but he accepted the chocolate she handed him and dug into that too without a word. "They're from Harry. He said he's really sorry," she thought to point out, and suddenly, Eggsy wasn't okay again.

"Oh god," he wailed. He pressed his face into one hand. "God, Rox. I was rotten ter him. So fuckin’ ‘orrible for no reason at all and ‘ere ‘e is apologizing ter _me_. God, ‘e's going ter ‘ate me."

"No, shhh. Shhh, Eggsy, it's okay. You know Harry loves you, he knows you don't mean it," Roxy cooed, pulling him once more into her embrace. "He's worried about you, for sure, but he can never hate you."

"I don't even know why we fought! It was such a stupid thing. He teases me all the time, but today it was just..."

"Welcome to being a woman, honey," Roxy told him, half amused, half wry. "Now you know what PMS feel like."

"Oh god, I am never teasin’ you abou’ this ever again," Eggsy whined into her chest.

"Good boy," Roxy laughed, and pushed him upright. "I brought you some supplies." She grabbed them off the table and laid them out for his inspection. "Tampons once you start bleeding." Eggsy made a small noise of complaint. "A hot pad and some painkillers for the cramps. More chocolate and some underwear." She held up a pair of white granny panties for his inspection and snickered at his expression. "I know for a _fact_ that you only have those slutty lacy panties in your boudoir. Believe me, you will _not_ want to wear those."

" _Rox_ ," Eggsy wailed. "Rox I don't wanna be a girl anymore. How d’ya _deal_ with this for the rest ov yer lives?" Roxy laughed and patted his head.

"By putting on our big girl panties and moving on," she said then kissed his cheek. "It's not the end of the world, Eggsy, cheer up. Why don't you ask Harry to come over? I'm sure he can find some way to take your mind off of it." Her wink extracted a laugh from Eggsy.

He hugged her and said, "Yer the best, Rox.”

...........

When the blood came, he spent the better part of a half hour in the bathroom, wondering if he'd put the damn tampon in right and if it was supposed to feel that way.

The next three hours was spent fidgeting uncomfortably and wondering if the tiny little tube of cotton was enough to hold it all in. He was constantly expecting to stand up and find a pool of blood where he'd been sitting, which, considering he'd once returned from a mission drenched literally from head to toe in blood, shouldn't have been as big a deal as it felt, but coating that general area made him feel like he'd soiled himself. So yeah.

Roxy kept shooting him knowing little glances that were both annoying and reassuring at the same time. Harry still half looked at him like he was going to snap again, which thankfully he wasn’t. Apparently PMS only worked before menstruation. After that, you'd be mostly focused on not soiling yourself and keeping cramps at bay.

The cramps. Oh the cramps.

They weren't _painful_ per se, or not true pain like getting stabbed was, in any case, but the discomfort, the queasiness just hovering at the periphery of pain...

Eggsy just wanted it to be _over_.

"Ugh," he groaned as he threw himself into the shower first thing when they _finally_ made it home.

"Are you all right, Eggsy?" Harry asked gingerly from the door. His defensive shields were half up, and Eggsy felt horrible for it.

"Ugh," was Eggsy's intelligent reply. His head thud back against the tiled shower wall as he reached between his legs to tug at the tampon string.

It was an odd sensation to remove it, Eggsy decided, tugging more firmly. When it finally popped out, a small but mortifying 'eep' left Eggsy's mouth along with it. He didn't bother inspecting it, instead quickly chucking it into the toilet and flushing it down. Then he groaned as a torrential flood of blood decided to flow out of him without the tampon holding it back. "God," Eggsy begged to the ceiling of the bathroom.

He had been prepared to wallow in his misery for a good two hours up until a pair of arms wrapped around his waist and a pair of lips pressed to his neck.

"Harry," Eggsy tried to protest. It's not that he didn't appreciate the cock nudging at his back entrance. It just felt... Well, dirty.

"Let me help you, sweetheart," Harry murmured. "You've had a wretched day." Eggsy could only groan agreement, so he allowed Harry to turn him around and press him up against the wall to kiss him thoroughly. His head was tipped up with one hand, also inadvertently thrusting his chest into Harry's. Apparently satisfied with that position, the hand on his chin moved down to cup one breast and the other hand, the other. Eggsy moaned.

And then eeped when another flood gushed out of him.

Harry chuckled into his mouth and reached between his legs, kicking them open as he did.

"Harry," Eggsy protested once more, but Harry murmured soft reassurances at him and pressed one long finger into his bleeding hole.

It wasn't enough. It was so far from enough that Eggsy could whine, but the fact that Harry's eyes were glittering with delight as he fingered him made all of Eggsy's whines die in his throat.

A second finger joined the first, and Eggsy could only think of the blood coating them. And then they pressed magnificently into his g-spot, and Eggsy _wailed_.

"If you think a bit of _blood_ was going to put me off, darling, you really don't know me at all," Harry murmured into his ear as Eggsy writhed in his arms.

"Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck, _Harry_..." Eggsy whined. His knees felt weak and only Harry's hand, now on his hip, pinning him to the wall, kept him from crumpling to the floor.

"Lovely, my sweet girl," Harry praised, knowing just how the endearment would affect Eggsy. As always, he whined a loud sob. "Beautiful," Harry pressed a kiss to his throat. His fingers withdrew, and then his hard length was pushing into Eggsy.

"Oh, god," Eggsy cried, tossing his head back against the wall with a loud smack. Harry took the chance to bite a mark beneath his jaw, anchoring Eggsy as he lifted his legs up around his waist and fucked into his sopping, bleeding cunt. "Fuck, Harry..." Eggsy whined. "Feels fuckin’ filthy."

"It is," Harry agreed. His pace did not falter, and the angle stabbed at Eggsy's G-spot every time. Tears sprung to his eyes, involuntary from the battering. Uninhibited moans fell from his mouth, obedient to Harry's desire to hear his pleasure.

He couldn't come from this; the angle didn't permit it, but he didn't mind because Harry's cock was exquisite and his g-spot was more than happy. Sobs and moans fell equally from his mouth, increasing in frequency as Harry's thrust grew faster, harder, erratic.

And then the older man grunted a final thrust and buried his face in Eggsy's neck as he came.

Water splattered loudly on tile in the silence of the room. Only their heaving breaths cut through the sound and even they stopped as soon as Harry pressed his mouth into Eggsy's, as though his air could only be sourced from Eggsy's exhales.

"Would a massage help, darling?" Harry asked as he reached for the soap and slid it carefully over Eggsy's shoulders, his breasts, back, between his legs. Eggsy took it from him and returned the favor while Harry lathered the soap on him and pressed his fingers into the sinews of his muscles. His moan couldn't be helped.

"I think your cock already massaged the cramps right out of me," Eggsy moaned. "But keep at that. Yeah..."

By the time they made it back into the bedroom, the water had run cold and the room even colder, but that was fine because Harry wrapped him in a fluffy, warm towel and helped him put in a new tampon. It was oddly intimate and fairly embarrassing, but Harry seemed to enjoy doing so, so Eggsy let him. Then he was kissed in thanks and hustled into bed.

"I'm sorry I've been a complete sod all day," Eggsy offered when Harry was curled up behind him and a refreshed hot water pad was pressed to his lower abdomen. Harry chuckled and kissed his shoulder.

"You haven't been a right sod," he offered, but Eggy snorted. They both knew he was lying, so Harry conceded, "Maybe a little bit, but I understand. And it's going to take more than _hormones_ to scare me off." Eggsy smiled and twisted his neck to kiss him.

"I'll make it up to you after," he promised.

...........

The opportunity to do so presented itself as soon as Roxy returned from a quick mission in Romania.

Finally free from dreaded hormones, bleeding, and cramps, Eggsy dragged Roxy into London as soon as she'd been released from debriefing. "I need your help," he said urgently, hustling her into the tube.

"Is there a body? Because if I don't even get to change out of this bloody suit that I've been wearing for two days straight, there better be a body, Unwin," she said sulkily. And okay, maybe it wasn't that urgent, but he'd been blood free for a whole day now and it deserved celebrating with Harry who had been an absolute peach through the whole ordeal.

"I'll buy you a set, too," he offered, to which Roxy's eyebrow lifted.

"A set of what?" she asked.

Three hours later found both of them back at HQ, Eggsy wrapped in a sexy new trenchcoat--off the rack though it may be--scandalously high heels, and little else.

Roxy gave him a kiss on the cheek and a small push. "Let me know how long it takes for him to regain higher brain function, yeah?"

Eggy laughed. "If he has by the time I call you, I ain't doin' my job right," he answered and clicked off to Arthur's office.

He found the man in conference with Kay and his handler, giving them a right good bollocking if the tone of his voice was anything to go by. Something about 'misuse of resources' and 'what part of 'secret' is a difficult concept for you?' from what Eggsy could hear through the door just before he pushed it open.

"Not now, Eggsy," Harry dismissed with a sigh because of course he didn't have to look up to know who would barge into his office unannounced. When Eggsy stepped through, though, he was compelled to look at him.

And then did a double take.

He dragged his eyes up and down Eggsy's body, and all of his words were promptly lost in the back of his throat.

Eggsy grinned and sauntered forward, his heels clicking on Harry's floor and his coat offering tantalizing peeks of stockinged legs. He was well aware that Kay and Gerard were watching given Harry's rather un-Arthur-like, reaction. Nevertheless, he still sidled up to Harry and slid a palm over his shoulder.

"I'm still in a meeting, Eggsy," Harry pointed out as if Eggsy didn't know _that_.

"Misuse of resources, inconspicuous activities, yeah, Harry, I heard," he said, appropriating himself the corner of Harry's desk to sit on. If it caused the folds of his coat to fall open and reveal his garters. Well. Harry's gaze fell to his thighs, so Eggsy counted that a win. "Why don't you send them on clean-up duty for the next few missions and let them be on their way? I have a couple of matters I need to discuss with you."

"Yes. Right. Clean up duty," Harry agreed absently. Eggsy looked over his shoulder and gave them a wink.

"You heard the man," he said and watched them stand and offer matching nods. The door hadn't yet shut behind them when Harry was already undoing the belt of Eggsy's trench.

"You complete tart," Harry growled. Buttons were coaxed out of their hole with impatience and his coat pushed off unceremoniously to prompt a sudden intake of breath. "God," was the involuntary utterance that made Eggsy grin triumphantly.

"Like it?" he teased as Harry's hands slipped up and down and around his corseted waist. The noise that escaped him was incomprehensible, and for it, Eggsy's grin broadened. He twisted in Harry's grasp, turning around and shedding his coat as he went to give the older man the full view of the [lingerie](https://cdnb.lystit.com/photos/8aee-2014/01/11/blush-lingerie-black-strapless-cropped-corset-product-1-16674343-1-202214106-normal.jpeg) Roxy helped him pick out.

It was practically modest, all things considered. But then, Harry wasn’t the type to be turned on by tits more than the tease of it, so Eggsy knew he’d appreciate this a whole lot more, a fact that was confirmed when Harry pressed his mouth to his exposed sternum.

"These won't fit you when you turn back," the older man mourned against it absently, almost to himself, and then quickly decided, "We'll have to get you a new set." Eggsy's eyes widened, surprised. While he didn't doubt Harry had no preference for his figure one way or another, he didn’t think men in lingerie was a kink Harry bore. Harry didn’t notice his surprise and only ran a thumb across the edge of the garter. His tongue followed a moment later and all thought fled soon after that.

...........

“Eh. It was fun while it lasted, but I’m just happy to have my dick back,” Eggsy said as he climbed out of the cab to the sound of gunshots in his ear. Ector leveled him a _look_ from the front, so Eggsy gave him a grin and a little wave before shutting the door and heading into the house.

They had finally turned him back to his old self last night, and though he had to stay a while more for observation, they eventually released him in the late afternoon of the following day, fit as a fiddle with no lingering side effects. Roxy had demanded she be updated as soon as he was released, regardless of the circumstances she was in, which happened to be right in the middle of a gunfight, but she was _Roxy_ , so Eggsy wasn’t concerned very much.

“‘Sides, we got both rays on hand if Harry ever wants t’ indulge my feminine side again,” he added cheekily. _Or maybe the reverse even. Hmmm…_ He unlocked the door while Roxy groaned over the line.

“Only you would turn a supervillain weapon into a sex toy,” she said, making Eggsy laugh. “I just can’t believe your mother didn’t find out.”

“She ain’t buyin’ the month-long stay overseas, so I got a lotta convincin’ t’ do. But I’m just happy she didn’t ask t’ Skype. Or that she didn’t accidentally drop by while I wos ‘ere,” he pointed out while he shucked his coat and removed his shoes. He strolled into the house and up the stairs, saying, “I swear, I ain’t sure it if it was fuckin’ tampons that were the worst bit or them fuckin’ assholes in the club.”

Roxy laughed and then there was a grunt that was definitely not from her. “I doubt they’re ever going to look at a woman the same way again. Though they should really be thankful Harry wasn’t with us at the time.”

“He woulda murdered ‘em,” Eggsy agreed. He pushed open the door to their bedroom and stopped because there, on their bed, he found a large black box wrapped with a gold ribbon. 

An eyebrow flew up, and, with a quick glance around, he found telltale signs of Harry being home.

In the study then.

He ignored his lover for now and walked toward the box, telling Roxy, “Ey, Rox? I gotta call you back.”

“I’m in the _middle of a mission_. If I can handle chatting over the line, you should be able to--” She stopped suddenly, and then sighed. “‘Bros before hos,’ my arse,” she muttered quietly under her breath, startling a laugh out of Eggsy. “Fine, fine. You enjoy your dick. I’ll talk to you when I get back.”

“You’re the best,” Eggsy said and hung up.

He set his phone aside and tugged at his tie before he even touched the box which was, in itself, beautifully made from strong cardboard covered in velvety felt. There was no logo on it, but Eggsy was pretty sure he knew what was inside anyway. The satin ribbon unravelled smoothly from a single pull, and the cover lifted away easily.

A breathless chuckle escaped him when he caught sight of the contents. 

“Harry Hart, you pervert,” he muttered fondly and lifted the [lingerie](http://i1.cdnds.net/13/17/300x450/odd_men_lingerie_2.jpg) out of the box, holding it up for inspection. It was unsurprisingly simple. None of the trappings Eggsy had seen on the more elaborate women’s lingerie, but it was undeniably pretty, nevertheless.

He pulled off the rest of his suit and underwear to replace them with the panties first, snug around his hips and dipping into the crevice of his arse. His cock was surprisingly comfortable in it’s place, hard as it was, and he realized it was because their was a bit of allowance built into it. 

The garter went on next, nearly flush against the line of the panties. The stockings, though silky and delightful against his skin, were marred somewhat by the hair on his legs, and Eggsy resolved to correct that next time. Next time because this time wouldn’t wait. 

The matching bra went on last because Eggsy didn’t quite know how to feel about it. It would have been odd to have bra cups that stood out on his chest in their emptiness, but then Eggsy found that, like the panties, they fit him oddly well.

He evaluated himself in the mirror, turning this way and that for a better look and quickly decided he cut a _damn_ nice figure in these. He gave his reflection a wink and headed out the door in nothing else.

As expected, he found Harry in the study, coatless and tie-less but still with his fucking shoulder holsters on because the bastard knew how much of a turn on it was, and Harry soon after found him in the doorway. A pleased grin slowly curled over the man’s lips, and Eggsy couldn’t help but match it.

“Like what you see, Mr. Hart?” he drawled as he slunk closer. Harry turned in his office chair to face him, spreading his legs almost unconsciously, an invitation that Eggsy wouldn’t, even if he were drugged out of his fucking mind, have the heart to refuse. He climbed into Harry’s lap without preamble, settling his lace-clad cock up against Harry’s suit-clad one. The juxtaposition of it may have sent chills sliding down Eggsy’s spine to culminate in his groin.

Harry’s fingers traced the edge of the stockings as soon as Eggsy was in touching distance, humming absently in agreement. They charted the valleys of his muscles and completely avoided his groin on their way up to trace the top edge of his bra, dipping the barest of fractions inside.

“Very much so,” Harry whispered, almost as an afterthought and then pressed a kiss to the divot between his collarbones. Eggsy breathed out a moan and tipped his head back to accommodate the tongue that flickered out to tease. He pushed his hips forward to encourage more until a hand palmed his ass and fingers pushed into the crevice filled by the panties.

“Harry,” he pleaded, _thrusting_ so that the chair creaked beneath their combined weights.

Harry hummed reassurance and replaced his palm at the small of Eggsy’s back so that he could slide his hand beneath the lace and over Eggsy’s skin. Eggsy rewarded him with a moan and a deep kiss pressed to his mouth. With tongue when fingers stroked at the furled skin of his hole. Harry chuckled and pulled back only far enough that he could murmur into Eggsy’s mouth, “My needy girl.”

_Oh._

Oh okay, so apparently _that_ still worked on Eggsy even without the tits between them.

He felt the smugness radiating off his lover, but he couldn’t refute it, couldn’t retaliate when Harry continued saying, “Look at how _wet_ you are for me, darling girl, so pretty in your knickers.”

“ _Harry_ ,” Eggsy whined, his eyes sliding shut. Harry’s hand disappeared briefly from it’s cocoon while Eggsy was rutting up against his front, thrusting his chest into Harry’s face where the other man nosed at his bra and found a nipple with his lips. “Fuck,” was Eggsy’s response to it.

And then Harry’s fingers were pushing their way into one panty leg hole and sliding smoothly into his arse, two at once and slick with the lube Harry unashamedly kept in all his office desks, the bloody pervert.

“Ohhh…” Eggsy sighed in relief. While vaginal sex had been an awesome new experience--as all those clitoral orgasms had been--he had missed this: rutting his cock against whatever part of Harry or Harry’s furniture he could reach, relishing the feel of his arse being pried open. 

“Yes. Just like that, my dear, I want you wet and loose as a proper tart should be,” Harry murmured and only then did Eggsy realize he’d been grinding into the fingers that impaled him. Aware now, he rode them more meaningfully, lifting himself up and down to better appreciate the slide of them against his inner walls. He groaned, dropping his head onto Harry’s shoulder and fucking himself properly.

“Another,” he demanded. Implored. There was an end goal to this and coming on Harry’s fingers wasn’t it.

A third finger pressed into his hole, drier than the other two had been, but Eggsy didn’t mind too much. His pace never faltered, his moans didn’t stop. The only change was when he turned his head to press a kiss to Harry’s neck.

“You now, please?” he begged when he had enough, and the fingers withdrew obediently. 

Eggsy was patient while Harry fiddled with his trousers and slicked himself up because the reward of it, the exquisite drag of Harry’s cock in him through the same leg hole of his panties, was so very much worth it. He groaned, goosebumps prickling his skin, as Harry filled him.

“Will you ride me, pretty thing?” Harry purred. It wasn’t a question and neither was it anything Eggsy wanted to deny. He complied readily, securing his knees in the corners of Harry’s chair and wrapping his arms around the man’s neck. He lifted himself up, whining as his hole was left gasping for Harry’s cock. When he sat himself back down, he sighed a breath of relief.

Over and over, the pattern continued, varying only in intensity as Eggsy felt the edge of his orgasm nearing. He crashed his lips against Harry’s and willed his moans into the other man’s mouth as though only then could he convey his desperation for him. 

When his orgasm exploded out of him in a high-pitched whine, Harry ceased to be a passive participant. He surged to his feet with Eggsy in his arms and slammed the younger man down onto his desk. He grabbed Eggsy’s hips and _thrust_ into him, fucking him through the debilitating pleasure of his climax, fucking him well after the bouts of oversensitivity had overtaken him, fucking him until he was sobbing and writhing beneath him, and only then did Harry find the satisfaction of release.

His body, hunched over Eggsy’s form with his forehead pressed to his lover’s shoulder, heaved with breaths of sudden exertion, so Eggsy allowed him a moment to catch his breath. When he had done so, Eggsy shifted, and Harry, knowing what he wanted without him having to say it, pressed their mouths together in a sluggish, messy, loving kiss.

“So,” Eggsy started, an amused smile on his face.

“Hmm?” Harry hummed absently as he pulled himself up and righted his clothes. When Eggsy shifted, he quickly pressed a hand to his stomach to pin him where his was. Eggsy huffed a laugh.

“New kink?” he asked. Harry pushed one of his knees up to his chest and the other leg open, staring rather intently at his now-leaking hole. “Coz I mean, we got the pair of ‘em in possession. We don’t gotta keep this a fantasy.” This time, Harry looked up, an eyebrow high on his forehead in reprimand.

“Supervillain weapons are not sex toys, Eggsy,” he said, though nothing in his tone of voice was particularly discouraging on that front.

“Neither is a spatula, but that don’t stop us,” Eggsy retorted with a wink, so Harry granted him a chuckle. “‘Sides, I might got a thing for older women, too.” Harry’s mouth desperately, unsuccessfully tried to suppress a grin. “The brunette type, specifically... Mid-fifties... Battle hardened.” Harry leaned over him with a thoughtful hum. Eggsy finished with “Initials ‘HH’ a must” just as Harry sealed their lips together.

When they pulled apart, Harry murmured, “Quite a specific type. Do you think you’ll find anyone that fits the description?”

Eggsy grinned broadly. “I’ve got jus’ the lady.”


End file.
